The "Good Life" Trap

In this modern society, we find ourselves endlessly scrolling through digital technology and online images. We witness people living a “good life” on all the social media platforms as they travel the world, dress in attractive clothes, have sun kissed skin and from all appearances, they have money and a perfect relationship. Their wandering spirit takes them to places that look fantastic and fun.

First let me say: Their life is NONE of our business in the first place but if we are so compelled by them, let’s look a little deeper. We may notice that we are seeing their BEST days. The images that create this craving within us are their highlight reel. It is unlikely this is how they live everyday (and if it is, good on them! They’re thriving).

Too often, we forget though. Each one of us carries the same responsibilities to ourselves and in our lives. We have bills to pay, maybe a child or three. A mortgage or rent, credit cards (that acquire miles, I hope) and probably a pet. Second, these same people that we’re watching from afar have the same worries, anxiety and spiritual blocks that the rest of the world struggles with but those are rarely shared alongside the beautiful sunset they’ve captured on camera.

Please answer these questions (you don’t have to say it out loud, but be so honest with yourself) : is this truly what you crave in your life? Or is it the idea? Do you think you will find fulfillment in clothes, travel and life on the beach? Are you jealous that it’s not you? Maybe your answers are yes. But then what? You travel, buy the clothes, get a tan and have your passport stamped. What’s next? When you get home, does that empty feeling still poke you? Are your money worries gone now? Do YOU have a highlight reel ? Are you still craving something deeper?

Sometimes we feel unrest in our life and that makes us crave these same adventures and freedom. When we “can’t” do what we “want” we get frustrated, envious and maybe even a little salty that “they” get to go places and we’re sat at home watching other peoples best life through our screen while we raise our kids, pay those bills and eat on a budget while feeling like every day is better than the next.

Turn off the screen, put your phone down and ask yourself:

• Is my life so unsatisfying, boring or bad that I need to escape?

• Am I willing to do what it takes to have these same experiences?

• What do I need to add or subtract from my life to make it better or get what I want?

It's OK! It’s ok to want to travel, have nice clothes, see gorgeous sunsets, crave the strong connection with your partner, eat gourmet meals in a nice restaurant, live debt free, and feel free. It’s also OK to have a “normal” life before and after these things. As long as you're being honest that you're ready to do the work for these things or you're willing to admit you don't want to do the work and just want to watch and be unhappy. YOU GET TO CHOOSE your actions. Free will can be a bitch when we want to make excuses instead of making moves.

You don’t need permission to have these things. In fact, I WANT YOU TO LIVE THIS REALITY! More importantly, I crave for every one of us to do it with meaning and gratitude. None of us are entitled to this “good life” and it’s not going to suddenly materialize for ANY of us. In the wise words of my husband: “the Cavalry isn’t coming to rescue us. WE have to save ourselves”. WE are responsible for making it happen. And when you put the work into achieving it, dang it- be proud of yourself AND grateful. Live each moment of it gracefully and know that every moment of it was earned by you. That’s what makes it SO GOOD!

And my final thoughts on this: When you’re compelled to bear witness to other peoples grand images and beautiful lives, why not harness a feeling of gratitude? Weird, right? Not really. Gratitude is a feeling we need to let our self experience when we manifest something in our life.

Try this out: Look at that picture, read that post and feel gratitude. Feel grateful that a fellow human being was able to have that experience and share it with us. Realize that this can be a goal for you and you now have something to hold in your minds eye and focus on manifesting in your own life. After all, how would you know what the Amalfi Coast looked like when you sit down to envision it as your next travel destination or a place on your bucket list?

• Get a calendar

• Make a goal

• Pick a date

• Start finding ways to achieve that goal

• Count down the days